is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
