i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
