so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize