There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
