you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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