with your own penis?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well you can't waste a boner
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
