Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I've blown a few things in my day
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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