Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
