It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
