U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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