i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
