I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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