Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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