PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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