Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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