Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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