we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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