A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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