He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize