Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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