Define "chronic" masturbator.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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