I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
