god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Im part way to drunk.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
