idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Green mimosas i think yes
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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