so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
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