So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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