My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
