I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize