I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize