I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
