Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
