And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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