is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Couch. On fire.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
