? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My dick has a subreddit
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
