worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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