R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
