you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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