Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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