i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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