Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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