so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
