I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
40s are totally the cure
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
