I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize