epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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