I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
FUCK WHALES
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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