i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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