We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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