I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
