The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
