i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
home. puking in laundry basket.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
