It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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