But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
