my text book just quoted the cookie monster
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
