Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
