tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
