I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
