My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
