WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
