that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize