just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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