North Korea, Best Korea!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize