Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
