After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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