Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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