You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
